I’ve wanted to publish this post for a while now, but I needed time…
I’ve had it hard since I returned from Cuba. Goodbyes are ridiculously difficult for me, and since the bond between Brayan and I is growing and strengthening each time we are together, the agony of parting ways is also growing and strengthening… I’m still not at my 100%, but I’ll get there. Hopefully. Getting back into the groove of work and school (school especially) has been difficult. It’s strenuous to focus on anything other than my desire to fly back to Cuba. Long distance relationships are challenging, but they don’t compare to long-distance marriages. Those are exhausting. I just hope that soon he and I can finally live together because I’m getting tired of feeling so down. I’m a strong girl and I’ve been patient, but now I want my cake and I want to finally eat it too. Without getting into any details right now, he and I are working on making that happen – it’s all a matter of when the government gives us the OK for it to actually happen… Urgh, I’m telling you, the wait is the worst punishment to endure.
My mom and I returned on Saturday October 29th. Our plane landed before (but close to) midnight. It didn’t take us until 2AM to arrive home Sunday morning, making that weekend a terrible one for me. You can imagine, I was an emotional wreck. I can’t even begin to explain the level of anxiety I had on the plane ride home; I’ll get to that in a second.
Brayan dropped my mom and I off at the airport, and that was when the real tear-jerking fest started. There was no parking, so he had to park the car on the side of the street. Because of that, we didn’t have a lot of time to say our goodbyes. I held him back a little longer than expected because I couldn’t contain my sadness… He stayed to calm me down, but I couldn’t hold back the tears no matter how hard he tried to prevent them. He was encouraging me to stay positive, saying things like, “We’ll see each other soon!” “We’ll be together soon!” “It won’t be like this soon!”
Soon… I long for that word to be true. I don’t know how to keep myself from going crazy if it’s not!
I’m a nervous flyer to begin with on a normal day, and since my emotions were so elevated after we were forced to separate, my nerves were out of this world. To make matters even worse, my mom and I were seated on opposite ends of each other in the isles, so I couldn’t rest my head on her shoulder to cry. Instead, I was seated next to a couple…
I watched them hold hands and be all lovey dovey with each other. 😡
Believe it or not, but the man sitting in front of me was sporting a similar hairstyle to Brayan’s. So… whenever I’d look to the right, I’d see the couple; whenever I’d look ahead, I’d see Brayan’s hairstyle; and whenever I’d look to the left, I’d see my mom, and she always had a sympathetic look on her face. No matter where I looked, I was reminded of Brayan. I couldn’t even distract myself with music, because the songs that were on my IPod, I’d shared with him. Everything reminded me of him. Ultimately, the only thing I could do on that flight was brace myself for a miserable 3 hours without any music, without my mom’s shoulder to comfort me, and without any other distractions like a book or movie. Honestly, I should’ve ordered a few beers to pass the fuck out. But I didn’t. I just waited until we landed.
I’m aware this post is quite the unhappy one, but I’m just sharing my emotions and experiences with you. This is what my blog is all about. The trip in itself was fantastic, as always, so here are some pictures for you to see!
Our resort was on Varadero’s main street, so we were close to so many stores and cafes. Here, we were walking to the car rental place. You can see their advertising to the right.
This was the view from my mom’s room. Mine and Brayan’s room just faced the massage building, so not too exciting to take a picture of, haha. I just adore watching the vintage cars drive by. I feel like I’m 50 years in the past.
We had to drop off some documents to the Canadian Embassy in Havana, so we had breakfast at a little cafe… at 1 in the afternoon may I add… I was STARVING because we hadn’t eaten anything beforehand.
A snap of my favourite city in Cuba, Matanzas. I love you Matanzas. ❤
A shot of coffee. 😉
The restaurant/hotel where we basically inhaled our coffee.
Brayan, my mom, and I went to a little bar one night.
I spilled beer all over me because I’m the clumsiest person ever born. Brayan’s chatting with his friend who was bartending that night.
OH MY GOD. THIS PIZZA. WAS. HEAVEN. Whenever I go to Cuba, I always visit this small pizza store in Varadero. They’ve got the best pizza there.
I wish I’d taken more pictures, particularly in Havana, but we had quite a few missions to accomplish at the Canadian Embassy, so there was no time to be touristy, unfortunately. I hope to make a trip to Havana soon, but I can’t guarantee when that’ll be. I plan to spend Christmas and New Years with Brayan, but I’ll have to run that by my work first. Wish me luck!
Thanks my friends for your patience… I hope you’ve enjoyed this post! I have to get back to studying now.
Hearts and hearts and hearts.